1 00:00:01,368 --> 00:00:04,536 Announcer: last time on "3rd rock from the sun"... 2 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,939 Dick narrating: after trapping me in an invisible box, 3 00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:10,709 my evil replacement continued his diabolical plot to rule the world. 4 00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:12,710 not knowing his true identity, 5 00:00:12,712 --> 00:00:15,213 my beloved mary made a date with the scoundrel. 6 00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:18,283 but just as I thought my plight was lost forever, 7 00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:22,120 my entrapment was cleverly discovered by my stellar crew. 8 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,191 Oh, you guys, 9 00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:28,126 There's An invisible box. 10 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,363 Ow! Wow, That smarts! 11 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,867 - you're going to look Hideous tomorrow. - you think? 12 00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:37,302 Yeah. There's This girl I knew. She hit her nose. 13 00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:39,304 - dustin hoffman. - mr. Randell's Coming over. 14 00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:42,507 Hello! I'm trapped In a box here. 15 00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:44,509 Okay. ( grunts ) 16 00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:47,112 Let's see. Anybody know how to open One of these things? 17 00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:51,115 Well, we know we Can't smash it open With our heads. 18 00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:53,918 - tommy, go get a hammer. - nobody's getting a hammer. 19 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,254 - get a hammer. That's an order. - I'm sorry, sir, 20 00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:58,524 - but you can't Give us orders. - ( stammering ) 21 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,994 - of all the insolent-- - dick you are no longer The high commander. 22 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:05,597 - ( gasps ) - sorry... 23 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,967 But if we let you Out of that box, Well, that's mutiny. 24 00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:11,003 Oh, mutiny shmutiny. 25 00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:12,938 Big, fat dutiny. 26 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,408 I'm sick of The new dick. 27 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,843 - this dick, He's one of us. - ( thumps ) 28 00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:21,013 So maybe he's Not perfect, 29 00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:23,415 Maybe his leadership Skills verge On the pathetic, 30 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,852 And maybe his incompetence Has made our mission The laughingstock of-- 31 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:29,187 - I think you've Made your point. - I haven't made my point. 32 00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,923 The point is that He's always been there For the three of us, 33 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,693 And it's time The three of us Take a stand for him. 34 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:37,662 Sure, sure. That's easy For you to say. 35 00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,698 You don't have The responsibility I do. 36 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:42,601 If we let him out And the big giant head Gets wind of it, 37 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:45,604 Who do you think's Going to take the fall? The information officer? 38 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,406 The transmitter? 39 00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:50,509 I don't think so. It's going to be me, The woman. Typical. 40 00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,344 Dick: sally! 41 00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:54,313 ( thumps ) 42 00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:59,150 Think of All we've been Through together. 43 00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:01,386 When brad dumped you, Who ordered you 44 00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:04,623 To drink Yourself silly 45 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,325 Until you had Completely drowned Your feelings for him? 46 00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:09,494 You did. 47 00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:12,797 And when I ran over Your foot with the car, 48 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,799 Who drove you To the hospital 49 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,201 The very next day? 50 00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:20,872 You did. 51 00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:23,107 And when you were hungry That day in the park, 52 00:02:23,109 --> 00:02:25,677 Who stole That little girl's Ice cream cone 53 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,345 For you? 54 00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,347 - tommy did that. - it was my idea. 55 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:30,515 - it was. - true. 56 00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:32,417 Sir, you're right. 57 00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,586 I can't let you Rot in this box. 58 00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:37,022 I've got to get You out of here. Come on, guys. 59 00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:39,024 - blood is thicker Than water. - it is? 60 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:41,026 - I think. - it's not as thick As peanut butter. 61 00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:43,095 - it's a pretty Thick substance. - chunky peanut butter? 62 00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:44,763 Get me Out of here! 63 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,764 ( '50s rock music playing ) 64 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,000 The lighting is romantic, 65 00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:26,938 The champagne chilled. 66 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:30,208 And now for some... 67 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,143 Erotic literature. 68 00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,681 "Make sure The 2x4 studs 69 00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:38,683 Are cleated To the floor plates 70 00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:40,785 Before applying The wallboard." 71 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,089 Perfect. 72 00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:47,058 - mary: yoo-hoo! - come on up. 73 00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:53,165 Oh! I like What you've done With the place. 74 00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,635 Just wait Until you see 75 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,403 The bedroom. 76 00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:03,174 Tonight 77 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,610 Is about pleasure, 78 00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:08,013 A journey into the... 79 00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:10,515 Taboo. 80 00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:12,517 I will let nothing 81 00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,519 Destroy the mood. 82 00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:17,054 ( man singing country tune ) 83 00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:23,061 - ( music stops ) - nothing. 84 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,296 ( slow jazz music playing ) 85 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,737 - man: ♪ living for you ♪ - ( mouthing words ) 86 00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:38,643 ♪ is easy living ♪ 87 00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:41,346 ♪ it's easy to live ♪ 88 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:46,617 ♪ when you're in love ♪ 89 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,987 ♪ I'm so in love... ♪ 90 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,424 ( thumping ) 91 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,830 I've seen these. 92 00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:05,303 - ( sally screams ) - lieutenant! 93 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,339 Ah, clap off, huh? 94 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:09,741 ( yelling ) 95 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:12,543 - you made it! - I'm free! I'm free! 96 00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:14,613 Tommy, thank you! 97 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:17,715 I'm free! Freedom! Freedom! 98 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:19,651 Oh! 99 00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,754 ( sighs ) 100 00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:26,324 There's so much I've missed-- 101 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,926 Fresh air, the smell Of bacon frying, 102 00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:31,596 Watching talk shows With harry. 103 00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:34,599 I didn't miss Jerry springer's biker Chick makeover, did I? 104 00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,670 - it was tuesday. - oh, damn! 105 00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:43,341 Sally, why are you Wearing that skirt? It makes you look frumpy. 106 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,843 ( gasps ) I knew it! 107 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:49,046 That dick upstairs said This look worked for me. 108 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,884 - I hate him. - he crashed the rambler. 109 00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,886 He changed My name to tommy. 110 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:57,956 - where does That leave you? - he calls me tommy, too. 111 00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:00,458 - is that tommy And the number, 2--? - I don't know. 112 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:03,228 - the guy's A major head case. - I've heard enough. 113 00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:06,064 No one dictates Humiliating And irrational edicts 114 00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:09,468 To my family. That's my job. Now, come on. 115 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,905 Oh, oh, oh! 116 00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:16,674 And nobody Better have touched My strawberries. 117 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,547 ( jazz music continues ) 118 00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:26,117 ♪ when you're in love ♪ 119 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:31,389 ♪ and I'm so in love ♪ 120 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:35,326 ♪ there's nothing in life ♪ 121 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,295 ♪ but you. ♪ 122 00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,682 ( gasps ) Mary. 123 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,984 What's she doing With him? 124 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,520 Looks like He's plugging Her pie hole. 125 00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:40,592 I think she Likes it, dick. 126 00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:44,863 - dick? - dick? 127 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,770 - dick. - come on, dick. 128 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,839 What does she See in him? 129 00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:58,476 Sure, he's gorgeous, But... It's all part Of his depraved scheme. 130 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,611 How dare he! How dare she. 131 00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:03,014 Did what we have Mean nothing to her? 132 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:05,684 Wait. She thinks he's me. 133 00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:09,086 But he's going To get her because He's deceiving her. 134 00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:11,523 And she'll Be his forever. In a way, mine. 135 00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,858 But she likes-- But he-- I oughta-- 136 00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:16,928 - but, she, I-- - dick, hey, snap out of it! 137 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,899 - you have to take action. - you're right. I've got it! 138 00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,902 - we're moving To florida. - what?! 139 00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:26,370 It's warm all the time. The land is cheap. And the fishing-- 140 00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:29,206 Bass as big As your arm. 141 00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:31,442 We're not going anywhere. Now you listen to me. 142 00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:33,745 This afternoon When I was with albright Arranging this date-- 143 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,113 - you arranged this date? - yeah, but the point is-- 144 00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:38,349 You set this up? What are you, His pimp? 145 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:43,020 - if you'd let me Finish, I'll expl-- - you of all people-- 146 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,957 Dick, get a grip And listen to her For a second. 147 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,726 The point is that I tried to talk her Out of this date, 148 00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:50,728 But she wouldn't Listen to me Because-- 149 00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:52,497 And don't Ask me why-- 150 00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:55,065 She has some sort Of emotional Attachment to you. 151 00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:58,136 - she said that? - she cares about You so much, 152 00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:01,305 She is upstairs About to have sex With another man. 153 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:07,845 - she would do that for me? - if you don't stop her. 154 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:10,748 You're right. That tyrant has Gone too far. 155 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,683 - I must defeat that man! - all right! 156 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,357 I should have done That earlier. 157 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:29,366 Okay, here's the plan. Tommy, harry, you stay here. 158 00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:32,103 Sally, watch my back While I make a run For the bathroom. 159 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,939 - then what? - I use the bathroom. 160 00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:37,341 I've been Stuck in a box For two days. 161 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,212 ( dick growls ) 162 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,381 ( gasps ) 163 00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:45,316 ( growls ) 164 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,188 Hold on. Enough. 165 00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:53,224 I think my tongue Has a charley horse. 166 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:56,394 Well, saddle up. We're going for another ride. 167 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,262 ( grunts ) 168 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:01,966 What is going on? Last time, you Were so fast. 169 00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:04,002 Why don't we Just get to it? 170 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:09,240 "It"? What? 171 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:12,210 You know, it. 172 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,213 Oh, it. 173 00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,683 You'll get it, All right. 174 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,453 You'll get All of it 175 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,789 That you want. 176 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,624 It is 177 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,493 On its way. 178 00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:33,097 Come on, dick. He's taking forever. 179 00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:37,602 Who's taking forever? 180 00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:39,537 Toilet duck. 181 00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:46,444 He's tackling Our stubborn buildup. 182 00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:49,280 Lieutenant, You're the woman. I need to know about it. 183 00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,282 - it what? - you know, it. 184 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:53,284 Oh, it. Um... 185 00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:55,553 Let's get Some privacy. 186 00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,989 Okay, well, um... 187 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,426 Uh... It's, uh-- ( clears throat ) 188 00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:05,429 It's kind of involved. Um... 189 00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:07,531 ( whispering ) 190 00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:09,367 Yeah? 191 00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:12,303 Eww. Really? 192 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,472 No. 193 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,474 Hmm. And women Like that? 194 00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,109 They love it. 195 00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:23,348 And to think, All this time I was just Walking around on them. 196 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,452 - mary! - dick. 197 00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:30,955 - mary, mary, mary, mary. - oh, that's more like it. 198 00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:34,125 I want you so bad. You've got to escape. 199 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,893 - you want me to try And get away? - you must. 200 00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:38,830 Oh, let me go! Let me go! 201 00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,765 How's that? 202 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,801 - get out! - what? 203 00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:46,504 - if you clear the hedge, You'll be fine. - what is wrong with you? 204 00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:49,974 Nothing. Everything. You know I'll never Leave you. 205 00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:53,244 - dick. - I've got to go now. You remember tommy. 206 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:56,014 - tell her about The swim team. - swim team? 207 00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:00,417 Well, well, well, 208 00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:02,754 If it isn't the former High commander. 209 00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,756 It seems that I've Underestimated 210 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:07,158 Your... Stupidity. 211 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,827 That was your First mistake. 212 00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:12,063 Here's your second. 213 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,665 - look over there! - where? 214 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:19,003 - ( loud thud ) - what's going on? Dick is acting strangely. 215 00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,072 - ( grunting, thudding ) - listen, dr. Albright. 216 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:24,308 Dick, he's got A lot of baggage. It's an internal struggle. 217 00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,710 Dick: stop! 218 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,880 Ha! 219 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:36,187 - stop pulling my hair! - I'll pull it if I want! 220 00:12:37,491 --> 00:12:39,624 That poor thing. I didn't know. 221 00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:42,460 No, you couldn't know, 'cause he's been afraid. 222 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:45,763 - ( grunting, thudding continue ) - see, he's been lonely 223 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,432 For such A long time. 224 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,835 And as the years Went by, 225 00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:54,405 He fell into despair And lost all hope, 226 00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,407 For what woman Could ever learn 227 00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,342 To love a beast? 228 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,550 Give me a second, okay? I'll be right back. 229 00:13:06,552 --> 00:13:08,820 ( grunting ) 230 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,488 - why aren't you Helping him? - which one? 231 00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:15,260 When I pull him up, Brain him with the gnome. 232 00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:17,195 Gotcha. 233 00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:29,340 - I got him, dick! - now help me get him Into the chair. 234 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:37,781 Here. Tie him up good. Tie him down tight. 235 00:13:37,783 --> 00:13:41,585 Which one is it? Tie him up, Or tie him down? 236 00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:43,488 Both, harry. 237 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,023 Hurry! We've got to get him out Of here before mary sees him. 238 00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:47,892 - what are we going To do with him? - ooh! 239 00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:50,561 Let's take him To the rambler and put Him in the trunk, 240 00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:53,998 Like they do On that show, "Homicide." 241 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,566 Together: "Homicide"? 242 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,668 - "Life on the street." - oh, yeah. 243 00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:01,239 Great idea. Tommy, harry, run down And clean out the trunk. 244 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,174 - you got it. - all right. 245 00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:06,644 We'll be Right back, sir. 246 00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:12,783 Don't be long... 247 00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:14,719 Tommy. 248 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:23,060 Don't tire yourself Out, commander. 249 00:14:23,062 --> 00:14:25,129 I want you to witness The destruction 250 00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:29,033 My little device Wreaks on the world You love so well. 251 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,535 What have you done To our toaster? 252 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,774 It's not a toaster. It's an incubator. 253 00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,843 When I press This button, 254 00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:41,879 Millions of spores Will be released Into the atmosphere, 255 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,115 Spawning A whole new race, 256 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:46,817 A race Of groveling drones. 257 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:49,086 They will think alike 258 00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:50,921 And talk alike. 259 00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:53,123 At times, they'll Even walk alike. 260 00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:57,461 And I will be father To them all. 261 00:14:57,463 --> 00:15:00,498 - what will Happen to mary? - oh, don't worry. 262 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,867 I'm not using This on her. 263 00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:05,836 I'm going to take care Of her personally. 264 00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,838 I'm going in there 265 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:11,509 And putting my feet In her purse 266 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,510 Again and again And again. 267 00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:15,512 You're insane! 268 00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:18,816 And not Gallagher insane, Just insane! 269 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,185 We cleaned out The rambler, dick. 270 00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:25,122 Oh! You were able To use the gray Duct tape. 271 00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:26,858 - ( all gasp ) - run! 272 00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:29,026 No! 273 00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:31,595 Stay-- Stay and witness 274 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,898 My moment Of glory 275 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,732 As I impregnate 276 00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:37,734 The entire Population of ohio 277 00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:40,338 With my demon progeny. 278 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,607 Wait, wait, wait. Even the men? 279 00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:47,444 Okay, not the men. 280 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:50,748 - not little girls? - no, no, not them. 281 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:54,351 - what about Elderly women? - I don't think so. 282 00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:57,588 - what about women who Are already pregnant? - shut up, all of you! 283 00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,127 Okay, so, apparently, I won't be impregnating 284 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,430 The entire Population of ohio, 285 00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:08,066 But all fertile women Of childbearing age 286 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:11,436 Who are not Currently pregnant, And that's a lot. 287 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:14,172 We're talking Lots of women here 288 00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:16,274 Who will soon Find themselves 289 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,576 Now pregnant 290 00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,812 By me. 291 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,813 It's as easy as one... 292 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,750 ( humming ) 293 00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:28,352 - two... - ( low vibrating sound ) 294 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:33,257 - three. - yes-su! 295 00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:35,193 Yes, that Will show him. 296 00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,529 - not that I care... - ( humming stops ) 297 00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,731 But, uh, show who? 298 00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:44,101 Your father, That unfeeling Purple tube 299 00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:46,670 Who gave you life But wouldn't give You love. 300 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,672 You know nothing Of my father. 301 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,508 So why don't you Just shut up? 302 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,578 'cause you Don't know him. 303 00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:55,613 You don't have To defend him. 304 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:58,715 You can't change the past. You have to live in the now. 305 00:16:58,717 --> 00:17:01,486 This is the '90s, Girlfriend. 306 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:06,624 All I ever wanted Was approval. 307 00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:08,859 Is it any wonder I wet my bed? 308 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:15,699 I'm with you. Your father's got You all caught up 309 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:19,203 In his emotional red tape, And you need to cut Yourself free. 310 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,372 What would you say 311 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,374 If I told you 312 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,777 That your father Was here tonight? 313 00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:27,544 Come on out! 314 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,480 What? 315 00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:35,419 I'm just kidding. He's not really here. 316 00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:38,856 I think you need to go Home and face him. 317 00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:42,026 Let the cycle Of pain end here. 318 00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:44,028 ( sobbing ) You're so right! 319 00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:47,097 That's it. Let it out. 320 00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:49,533 Let it all out. 321 00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:52,035 - hey, guys. - dennis, what are You doing here? 322 00:17:52,037 --> 00:17:54,672 - long story. - I got a weird vibe From you guys yesterday. 323 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:57,508 - is something wrong? - we could have used you About an hour ago. 324 00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:01,045 - what happened? - I got mobbed By all these people. 325 00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:04,348 - I gotta find A better disguise. - try women's clothing. 326 00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:06,284 Tried it. Doesn't work. 327 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:10,454 Dennis, could you Do us a favor? 328 00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:13,423 Could you escort That guy back To the home world? 329 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,592 Why not? I'm going That way anyway. 330 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:18,362 - I've got a present For the big giant head. - what is it? 331 00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:20,798 Big giant nose ring. 332 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,800 Come on. Come on. 333 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,802 Thank you, all. 334 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:27,104 I feel that I've made A big breakthrough here. 335 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,906 Well, remember... 336 00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:31,075 Nobody's going To respect you 337 00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:34,011 Until you learn To respect yourself. 338 00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:37,614 Bed wetter. 339 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,917 And, dennis, could You dispose of this 340 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,752 While you're at it? 341 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,921 - you did it! - ( all cheering ) 342 00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,663 Oh! 343 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,765 ( sighs ) You did it! 344 00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,833 Oh, no, not just me, Lieutenant. 345 00:18:56,835 --> 00:19:00,003 - I had a little help From my friends. - oh, stop. 346 00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:02,940 Ricki lake, Jerry springer, And sally jessy. 347 00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:06,177 Now listen up, Everyone. 348 00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:09,746 I know that in the past I worried that we watch Too much television. 349 00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:11,882 Well, all I can say is, 350 00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:14,685 God bless television 351 00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,853 And the many ways In which television 352 00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:18,922 Enriches our lives. 353 00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:21,092 From now on, I order you 354 00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:23,094 To watch More television 355 00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:24,762 Than ever before. 356 00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,631 All: Aye, aye, sir! 357 00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:29,366 What are we waiting for? Tommy, call the hut And get a pizza. 358 00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:31,368 - yes, sir! - harry, warm up That television. 359 00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:34,438 - you got it. - and, sally, 360 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,007 Go get yourself A decent pair Of pants. 361 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,010 ( sighs loudly ) 362 00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,078 Thank you, sir. 363 00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:55,626 Dr. Albright, The last time We were out here, 364 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,461 You said Something to me. 365 00:19:57,463 --> 00:20:01,231 You said you Cared about me. 366 00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:04,201 - is that still true? - of course it's true. 367 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:07,638 Because over the last Couple of days, you've Seen me at my worst. 368 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,307 That's what being Together is about. 369 00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:12,309 If we're going to Have a relationship, 370 00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:14,745 I want to have it With all of you, 371 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:17,114 And that includes The dark side. 372 00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:21,485 You know, I care About you, too. 373 00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:24,321 You've made that Very clear. 374 00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:26,490 So what do We do now? 375 00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:28,559 Well, it's been A long night, 376 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,761 But why don't you just put Your arm around me, 377 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,797 And we'll look up At the stars? 378 00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:37,301 The stars, yes. 379 00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:40,905 They look Like lovers locked In a celestial embrace. 380 00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:45,042 Why don't you just Look at those trees? 381 00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:48,712 The trees, They look like lovers, 382 00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:51,649 Their limbs exploring And fondling each other. 383 00:20:53,151 --> 00:20:56,453 How about we look At that couple In the window? 384 00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:00,557 Wow! They're going At it like trees. 385 00:21:32,925 --> 00:21:35,860 Sally: harry, is there something different about you? 386 00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:39,029 - ( gasps ) You've lost weight. - nope. 387 00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:41,031 - is that a new shirt? - nope. 388 00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:44,267 - oh, wait! You shaved off your beard. - nope. I never had one. 389 00:21:44,269 --> 00:21:46,102 It's something. 390 00:21:46,104 --> 00:21:48,271 You got A haircut. 391 00:21:48,273 --> 00:21:50,207 You're getting warmer.